Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - Advice to Parents of a Child Actor

An associate is putting together a new book "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with advice from industry professionals for parents of child actors. I thought I would share part of my contribution here.

Each person’s career path is so unique that for all the rules, realize there are no rules. Dreams can be real for those who work hard, dare to be different, and take chances. However, there are a few guidelines, tips, and legitimate questions to consider that may be helpful along the journey for young actors.

WHY?

Before embarking your child in a career as an actor, seriously ask why you want to do this. Is this what your child wants or is this YOUR personal dream as a parent? Are your expectations realistic for what it takes? Are you and your son or daughter ready to make a long term commitment?

AUDITION INSIGHT

Directors, Producers and Casting Directors WANT your child to be right for the part. Those seemingly intimidating people behind the table truly want each person that walks through the door to be the perfect fit. They need to fill the roles. When your child auditions they must understand they are a vital part of the process and are helping a creative team to get the job done. This positive and professional attitude projects confidence (also helps with nerves!).

Learn to take direction! Often Directors or Casting Directors will give suggestions for a line reading or new interpretation. They need to know that during rehearsals or a shoot that your child can be flexible. Any actor must be prepared to go with the flow, listen to what is being asked and be free enough to try something different. A good actor must be creative with an ability to modify, expand & experiment. Good acting classes will provide essential tools and tricks to overcome fear, find relaxation & focus, and to discover the freedom to get in touch with emotions. This is usually a natural for kids, but technique can be developed from an early age.


If your child does not get a part that doesn’t necessarily mean they did a bad job. Casting so often comes down to look, type, or style. Another child may just better resemble the actor booked to play the Mother or Father, for example. If the Director or Casting Director likes what they see - some talent, a good attitude, attentiveness and an ability to take direction - your Son or Daughter will be remembered and most likely called in for a future opportunity. One audition sometimes turns out to be the initial introduction for another part in a project down the road!

When an audition is over, forget about it. Move on to the next. It can be a long and frustrating wait wondering if your child got the part, or a call back. Let it go. If you get good news, then celebrate. There are too may auditions to worry about each one.

Most importantly encourage your child have fun, be truthful, and to be themselves.

DON’T BE A NIGHTMARE PARENT!

If your child is cast in a project, the production team will have to work with YOU and your child. Your behavior as a parent can make or break your son or daughter’s early chance at success in the entertainment industry. There is nothing worse than a “Helicopter Parent”, meaning those that hover all the time and interfere. Directors and producers will not only reject your child, but will avoid future contact if a child is known for having an overbearing parent. Of course you care deeply that your child succeeds, but you must learn when to step back and let your child do what they are good at.

Don’t over coach! I worked with a parent who always over rehearsed his daughter with line readings. He made her practice repeatedly exactly how to say a line. The poor girl was chided if she did not deliver the words and intonations as coached. This only made her nervous and is so against the grain of any creative process for an actor.

She was a talented young lady, but unfortunately so excessively drilled it made her plastic and mechanical by the time she got up to read. Once we got Dad out of the room and the girl was allowed to be herself, to just read the lines with an understanding of what the dialog was about, to know her intentions and tell the story from her heart, she was wonderful.

Learn to help your children gently, but give them the freedom to do what they do naturally.

RESEARCH & MARKETING

Watch successful kids on TV, Films and Shows to see what really works. Except for some “over the top” kid shows that have absurdly cute and robotic youngsters, you will find most employed child actors are very real, natural, and believable.

Network and build relationships that interconnect. Go to industry events. Let folks in the business know your child is around and what they are capable of. Promote with mailings of headshots and postcards. Follow up on leads and recommendations. Use the internet for social media and develop a working website for your child. Join other industry related websites like nowcasting.com, Actor’s Access and others to increase visibility. Even successful celebrities must constantly work at marketing. Fame is fleeting at best and public interests change as quickly as the weather. Find opportunities for your son or daughter to be seen and have their name and face recognized. Both parent and child should be known for professionalism, a superior reputation, and for being someone others will want to work with again and again.

Be prepared to go to major entertainment centers such as New York or Los Angeles if you plan for your child to work on main stream shows beyond regional theatre, print work, industrials and local commercials.  However, local work is an excellent training ground and opportunity to build a resume. 

SCAMS & SCHEMES

A good agent or manager is going to be a vital key to the success of any actor. A professional and well connected Agent will have access to auditions and opportunities impossible to pursue otherwise. Agents can have tremendous influence with a network of casting directors, producers, and directors.

HOWEVER, beware of agencies, schools, & organizations that promise to make your child a “Star” for a fee. Legit representation will earn commissions or payments from getting work. Some agencies or casting firms do now ask for an internet fee to put you on websites such as AgencyPro. There are legitimate companies that have this requirement.

No one can guarantee your child work and companies that claim otherwise are being deceptive to get your money. They are not looking out for you or your child. Be cautious of agencies or schools that require you to sign exclusively or use their own photographer for headshots or portfolios. It’s a huge racket. Protect yourself. Be your own advocate. DO YOUR RESEARCH! In this day and age there is no excuse not to search for background information on the internet. Get recommendations & referrals. Do not let your potential excitement at a seemingly “Golden Opportunity” blind you to reality. Some of these scam places will have a certain volume of “real” success stories, but these are minimal and only there to mask the truth and create a false sense of security.

JUPITER ALIGNS WITH MARS

Fate and luck often has more to do with success in this business than anything. Comedienne Kaye Ballard once said opportunity is “Being in the right place at the right time ... but then saying the right thing”! Some people find themselves in situations that can lead to the fast lane seemingly overnight. Others work for years before they are “discovered”, if ever. Above all, learn to enjoy the process and keep a sense of humor. Everything is possible and everyone potentially has the opportunity to succeed. True talent can eventually rise to the top, but your child may still need the planets to be aligned in just the right way. No one can predict what that magic moment will be. Have faith, be inspired and don’t believe everyone who may tell you “no”. Success can happen by just pushing forward against the odds, plus having a support structure of those you trust and whose opinions you respect.